Cuban Chicharrones: One of Cuba's Primary Gifts to the World

Cuban chicharrones in a gas-station where we get our Cuban sandwiches in Tampa, Florida.

I'm a Cuban sandwich freak and I think Cuban food is pretty good too, but holy crap, these chicharrones were GOOD. My dad and I put a bunch of lime on them and topped them off with some Tapatio hot sauce - freshly fried, a little bit of meat hanging on them - and inhaled them in roughly five minutes while waiting for our sandwiches to be made.

I am now desperately seeking a Cambodian equivalent. As for where this place is in Tampa? I think somewhere off Hillsborough. But honestly, I think that as far as neighborhood Cuban delis go, sometimes you just gotta find your own.

South Beach Grill: Boca Grande is Hell on Earth

South Beach Bar and Grille
777 Gulf Boulevard
(941) 964-0765
Boca Grande, Florida

Ah, Boca Grande. It's a little island about two hours or so north of Tampa, and it is absolutely beautiful, the kind of place that gets slapped on tourist brochures - or would, if the people who own property on the island weren't clever enough (or well-heeled enough) to keep it off the beaten track. My grandparent's owned a condo here when I was a little kid in Florida, and I went there yearly every year until I was about 11 or so.

They sold it when my aunt and my cousin's moved away from Florida, but family members still come back here - my mom has been coming here since she was a kid, as well. For my cousin's graduation, we came back once again. A home-coming of sorts. It's funny how me and my two cousins remembered almost every inch of even the drive - the mangrove stands, the little podunk towns you drive through, the massive, yellow Sunshine Skyway bridge, the tragically now-closed Dairy Queen with the barbeque sandwiches - and then crossing the tollbridge to get to the island.

No color manipulation needed. God, it's nice.

The island is all white sand and beautiful sunsets and one large lighthouse, and people riding golfcarts, except not many people, because they really do manage to keep the riff-raff out. We had rented a very large and lovely vacation home and a bunch of us arrived to hang out and eat tamales and wander around.

Not that I really appreciated it, this go-round - you see, I was flying to New Orleans the next day to see my boyfriend, who I had gotten back with over the Internet (sort of) over the course of a couple months, and now he was moving to Phnom Penh.

And we were pretty certain we were going to still like each other, but how could we be certain? It was terrifying. I believe I spent about half the day at Boca Grande hiding under a blanket on a couch, squinting to read my new Kindle, but not really reading, more just being trapped in a haze of existential, relationship-and-future-of-your-life based terror. The timing in other words was a bit off, but it's not your fault, Boca Grande.

(My boyfriend is moving to Phnom Penh in less then a month. I had nothing to worry about. But you never know that before.)

Awful place.

Oh yes, this is a food blog. I did eat one meal "out" on Boca Grande, which was at the South Beach Bar and Grille (with the obnoxious e). It's right on the beach and serves slightly fancified Florida beach shack fare. Think lots of grouper, fried seafood, pastrami sandwiches for the NY transplants, salads of various kinds, seafood chowder, hamburgers, and other seafood-themed stuff. It's expensive as hell, but food on Boca is expensive.

Curiously enough, despite the awesome location, the food is really, really good. (Just don't try parking there then hitting the beach, apparently, judging from Tripadvisor. Seriously. They don't like that.)

What is it with me and grouper? To me, it's like the madeline of the fish world, the protein that takes me back to childhood. My dad used to fry grouper at the beach all the time when I was a kid - some of my earliest food memories involve getting grouper sandwiches after preschool with my mom at this colorfully decorated restaurant in Tampa.

Whenever I'm in Florida, I eat prodigious quantities of the stuff. This was an excellent grouper sandwich, a good specimen of the genre: Plenty of fish, lots of mayo, lettuce and tomato, keep er' simple. I prefer my grouper sandwiches fried - doesn't obstruct the flavor profile - but some would beg to differ. Liked the coleslaw fine. I'm on a coleslaw kick lately. $15. Can be done reuben style. I almost went for it but decided that would either be perverse or awesome, and I didn't feel like wasting my one shot in 2011 for a grouper sandwich.

Must add that the fried grouper fingers were also very good, as determined by myself and my cousin. My mother was also very pleased with her seafood chowder, which was thick, Boston-ish, and absolutely terrible for you, as it should have been. We hung out for a bit and watched people on the beach. I worried about my boyfriend and worried about sun protection - oh god, what if I get a cold sore? - and worried about the universe and my job and probably individual atoms if I got right down to it.

I'm not very good at beaches.

I Love the California State Fair

I've been a Sacramento resident for about five or six years now, so I've adopted the California State Fair as one of my very favorite local traditions. It's big, hot, smelly, and populated by California-style rednecks. It's also absolutely fabulous.

The midway is fantastic, populated by See The Giant Cow booths, disturbing foot massage machines, and hordes and hordes of very large people munching on funnel cakes and Blocks O' Curly Fries. This is the place to grab a Merlino's Fruit Freeze (if they're available) or a frozen lemonade, then circulate through and watch people attempt not to barf on the roller coasters and the myriad other implements of destruction people who are not me love to ride on.

Move on to the farm animal barns, where you can look at tremendous bulls, ridiculously adorable alpacas, and angry looking sheep for as long as your heart (or your olfactory glands) desire. Once you're done observing the living, breathing livestock, you can easily mosey over to the smokehouse and BBQ area - the turkey legs are delicious. I haven't taken a rack of ribs inside the pig area and waved them around yet, but you can bet it's on my agenda.

Then perhaps to the model garden and farm, where all manner of lush California produce is man-handled by small children and not so reverent passerby. I like looking into the tanks of trout, catfish, and sturgeon provided by the Fish and Game Department and imaging how they would be grilled.

I love the wine area, although I technically can't partake in the wine. It's cool, excellently air-conditioned, and generally a wonderful place to sit and get out of the brutal Sacramento heat that seems to descend on the city at the exact time of the State Fair. Just for God's sake avoid the freezer-burned cheese plates they try to push at you at the bar.

As for the food...I admit, I'm not a huge fry-a-lator fan. However, this being California, there's a lot of options that don't involve deep fat frying. Not that we don't have fried Snickers bars or fried Pepsi or fried Krispy-Kreme and chicken sandwiches at Charlie Chicken....




Bloomin' Onion (2006) - Pretty good and definitely bigger then my head, at least when spread out on a plate. However, the inside of the onion was not completely fried through! Encountering grainy batter in the middle of your artery-busting onion is just a total buzz kill. Boo.

Deep-Fried Snickers Bar (2005) - I was prepared to hate this. Too bad it's friggin' delicious. The bar melts to a silky consistency, and with the combination of the crunchy batter and the raspberry sauce, it's like deep fried crack. You have to try it at least once. The Scottish are on to something.

Grilled Corn On the Cob - Simple, easy, ubiquitous. And tasty. Rolled in seasoning salt, it's the way summer oughta taste.

Merlino's Fruit Freeze - Merlino's fruit freeze is a Sacramento institution, making fruit ices that aren't quite slushes and aren't quite solid and are all delicious, with intense flavors and a perfect consistency. I always order a big cup with one scoop of strawberry, one of lemon, then mush them together for the Best Frozen Strawberry Lemonade ever. However, Merlino's was NOT AT THE FAIR THIS YEAR! (2007) My heart is broken.

Deep-Fried Artichoke Hearts: Blah. Soggy batter and insipid insides. How the hell did the California State Fair of all places and all locations screw this up?

Frozen Yogurt with Fresh Strawberries: Tasty all right, but nothing particularly special or specific to the fair. I need more pizzaz.

Smoked Turkey Leg - Yummy and tender, although the barbecue sauce is too damn sweet. (But my roots are in North Carolina.) However, 10 bucks a turkey leg? Are these organically raised rare-breed platinum plated turkeys or what?

Margarita - I am underage and thus have no idea what this tastes like. (It was good.) I will always treasure my father going off on the margarita guy because the big phallus-like cups the drinks are served in are "stupid."

Laotian Style Papaya Salad - Okay, this isn't really traditional fair food. However, it was excellent, made with lots of extra fish sauce (this is the Laotian bit) and incendiary amounts of chili pepper.

This year (2007), the food we tried wasn't particularly special. Either the thrill is gone, the food is really going downhill, or we're just not ordering correctly.

On the agenda for next year: fried catfish, chitterlings, finally try at least a bit of that amazing Krispy Kreme Fried Chicken sandwich. Because it is there.