Hellas Restaurant: Tarpon Springs Greek Food, No Tacky Souvenirs Included

Hellas Restaurant 785 Dodecanese Blvd Tarpon Springs, FL 34689 (727) 934-8400

Hellas is one of the few jillion tourist-oriented Greek restaurants in Tarpon Springs, Florida. Why all the Greek restaurants in this little Florida hamlet, you ask? Well,n not surprisingly, Tarpon Springs is full of Greeks, who came to the little village to sponge-fish and never really left. I've been going there roughly since birth - I have vivid memories of hoovering down giant plates of fried calamari and smelts when I was five or so, to the great pleasure of nearby snowbird grannies. The giant fake great white in the shopping area, the little aquarium with the sting-ray touch tank, the sponge museum with the gory DIVER DYING FROM THE BENDS, it's all coded in my DNA, right down to the tacky-ass souvenir shops and the constantly playing, insanity-inducing sound of Greek pop music. I refuse to hear anything against Tarpon Springs. And you know you actually secretly want a freeze-dried gator head wearing sunglasses. Just admit it, for God's sake.

Hellas has a large bakery with a profusion of Greek style baked goods - think every kind of Baklava known to man - and strong, gritty Turkish coffee that could probably kill you from sheer potency. The adjoining restaurant is pretty good, and has a sort of entirely authentic character that can't really be replicated. You got your waitresses with cigarette smoker voices, you got the dining room full of people in tank tops and pink hats with flamingos on them, you got the guys shouting OPAAAA when they flame up a plate of Saganaki. I love that shit.



This is it: Tampa style Greek salad. You got your Greek salad, you got your potato salad with it, buried beneath a mantle of leafy greens.. Shut up and go with it. The combination somehow manages to be delightful, as the potato salad melds with the herbaceous Greek dressing to take on an oily, incredibly bad for you flavor. The salads at Hellas are insanely huge - this was the salad for one. The salad for five probably generates its own garlicky gravitational field. As local-style Greek salads go, it's pretty good, though ask them to go easy on the dressing.



I chose the grouper special, with Greek style tomato sauce, rice, and potatoes. I adore grouper, especially because it's as rare as unicorns outside Florida, and this was pretty good. The flavorful tomato sauce has plenty of oregano and lemon, and is a worthy accompaniment to seafood. Only gripe? Could have been hotter. Not hot enough food is a big no-no. The piece of fish was caveman sized, which is nice to see. Potatoes and rice pilaf were good enough as side-line carbs go. The bread here is crusty and light, if you're into pre-eating bread.

Also: that fish plate? That fish plate. That fish plate is amazing. I didn't even notice that pinnacle of awesome until I loaded the photo onto my computer. I need 200 of them.




My dad chose pan fried smelts and calamari. Smelts are kind of an acquired taste. They're nothing more then deep fried whole entire little oily fish, complete with bones. (They do lop the heads off). The flavor is unctuous and rather pleasing in a marine way, although I find that I'm perfectly satisfied after eating about three of them.



The calamari was pretty good, if non-descript. Again, not quite hot enough.

We declined a slice of baklava cheesecake larger then our collective heads, and stepped out again onto the street. Incredibly, it was a cold day - 60 degrees, cold enough to cause a native Floridian to run screaming towards a heater, and I am a native Floridian. We bought some lovely goats-milk soap then hustled to the car. I had satisfied my grouper consumption requirement for a trip to Florida. I wish I had bought a freeze-dried baby alligator reclining in a lounge chair, but there will be a next time.

Paul's Shrimp House: Mmm, Alcoholic Shellfish

Paul's Shrimp House
530 Athens St
Tarpon Springs, FL 34689
(727) 937-1239



(All photos borrowed from the Paul's Shrimp House website.)

Mmm, Paul's. Whenever I visit Florida, my grandfather inevitably packs myself and any other lingering relatives into his Cadillac for one purpose: to get us some boiled shrimp in Tarpon Springs, the small and touristfied Greek community close to Tampa. Not that we mind.

Paul's is a typical Florida seafood shack, full of miscellaneous plastic aquatic critters on the inside, and lots of geriatric snowbirds on their weekly outings. The middle-aged waitresses wear uncomfortable looking shorts but bustle with heart-warming efficiency, slinging beer (which comes in pitchers), squid parts and cocktail sauce with fluent skill. You may not be able to tell from the sign, but the shrimp mascot emblazoned on it is holding a beer mug and is obviously piss-drunk. That's the kind of place we're talking about here.

The menu reflects the Greek roots of Tarpon Springs, including such Mediterrenean delights as pickled octopus, Greek salad, and baklava. Fried seafood all sorts is also amply represented, along with a decent variety of sandwiches and even a few land-based animals, although you really shouldn't be going there unless you want people to laugh at you.



In my family, we are convention bound to order the same thing every time we visit this fine establishment, spirit of adventure be damned. We begin with at least three orders of the Greek salad for 1 ($2.75) with a healthy scoop of potato salad ($2.00) on top. This might sound strange to you gentrified California weenies, but let me assure you, the combination is both unique to Tampa and utterly delicious, as the starchy potato salad absorbs the oily and tangy Greek dressing. And the salad itself doesn't disappoint - bristling with sharp, tangy feta chunks and plenty of anchovies, peppers, and olives, it's a pungent beginning to any meal.



We move on entrees, which are generally left open to the individual (gasp.) On my most recent visit, I ordered the simply but delicious broiled grouper ($12.95), which came in a very considerable portion, served alongside buttery vegetables and some expertly prepare coleslaw. The meat was flaky, tender, and cooked just long enough - I wolfed it down. My cousin went with the broiled scallops ($10.95), which were tiny and tender little pearls of tastiness - everyone at the table sniped a few.

But you can't pass up the fried food, can you? Paul's fried oysters ($9.95) are excellent, with a sharp and crispy exterior crust and a juicy and briny inside. They're infinitely better then potato chips and just about as addictive, and everyone I'm related to seems to be able to go through immense quantities of them with little to no trouble (including me.) I also like the fried smelts ($6.95), though be forewarned: these pungent and oily little fish might make a tasty appetizer, but plowing through an entire plate of these as a main course is...daunting. Share.

Finally, the Greek-style squid ($8.50) is incredible - a big, sizzling plate full of lightly fried squid parts, peppers, onions, and olives and feta cheese. It's pungent, delicious, and deeply Greek - you must try this.



What's for dessert? You can always have baklava, but we prefer a pound of Paul's signature dish: boiled shrimp ($13.95.) Big, plump, and shell on,they're boiled in some mysterious combination of Greek herbs and spices, doused in lemon, and served on a plate - and they are good, cooked just long enough to become tender but not mushy. Slap on some tangy cocktail sauce and you have entered shellfish heaven, at least by my estimation.

Paul's is a wonderful specimen of the Tampa fish house - it's a must-visit if you're in Tarpon Springs and can tear yourself away from the many other fine Greek establishments that dot that magnificent, touristy row. Eat fried oysters until you experience gastric pain then come back for more.